Dear boy I liked in high school,
It's been a loooooong time. I haven't seen you or spoken to you in over a decade. So why, may I ask, do you keep disturbing my sleep with cameo appearances in my dreams? This has been going on for years, boy I liked in high school, and I would like it to stop. Having you waltz through my dreams every few weeks, sometimes interacting, other times just looming... well, it's kind-of weird. It would be ungracious of me not to point out that you are always very respectful, never attempting to do anything that I, as a happily married woman, would consider untoward. But still, just the fact that you're there seems a bit inappropriate, don't you think? Perhaps what we really need is some closure. Is that why you're still lingering in my subconscious? Alright then, let's sort this out.
Here's the thing, boy I liked in high school: we both know that you were one of many crushes I entertained during those formative years. I am willing to admit that I was completely boy-crazy, suffered from what I now realize was a bit of a self-esteem problem, and as a result pursued and dated a number of boys that I now regret. But you were different, I think... because nothing ever happened between us. We were just friends. We had lots of classes together, ran in the same circles, participated in some of the same activities, spent time hanging out and talking on the phone. We were good friends and I valued our friendship, but without hesitation I would have become more-than-friends with you. And I think you must have known that.
It's been a loooooong time. I haven't seen you or spoken to you in over a decade. So why, may I ask, do you keep disturbing my sleep with cameo appearances in my dreams? This has been going on for years, boy I liked in high school, and I would like it to stop. Having you waltz through my dreams every few weeks, sometimes interacting, other times just looming... well, it's kind-of weird. It would be ungracious of me not to point out that you are always very respectful, never attempting to do anything that I, as a happily married woman, would consider untoward. But still, just the fact that you're there seems a bit inappropriate, don't you think? Perhaps what we really need is some closure. Is that why you're still lingering in my subconscious? Alright then, let's sort this out.
Here's the thing, boy I liked in high school: we both know that you were one of many crushes I entertained during those formative years. I am willing to admit that I was completely boy-crazy, suffered from what I now realize was a bit of a self-esteem problem, and as a result pursued and dated a number of boys that I now regret. But you were different, I think... because nothing ever happened between us. We were just friends. We had lots of classes together, ran in the same circles, participated in some of the same activities, spent time hanging out and talking on the phone. We were good friends and I valued our friendship, but without hesitation I would have become more-than-friends with you. And I think you must have known that.
I can't say that I liked you for four solid years, because there were times that you drove me crazy! You were an idiot and sometimes a little mean and I didn't always approve of the girls you liked or dated. But the thing that has always frustrated me when I'm forced to think about you, boy I liked in high school who keeps lurking in my dreams, is that I'm fairly certain that you liked me too. Like, liked me liked me. You wouldn't admit it to yourself, but you did. And I think we could have been really great together, in a temporary, you're-not-my-soulmate-but-I-can-learn-a-lot-from-you kind of way. At the very least, you could have prevented me from going after that one guy, the total jerk who used me and broke my heart a little. That would have been nice.
I didn't go to our ten year reunion. I doubt you were there either. We've obviously both moved on with our lives and are full-fledged adults now with real, grown-up relationships and responsibilities. I'd like to think that if I ever saw you again we'd be able to fall back into that easy friendship that we once had. But I can't imagine when or where we'd ever see each other again. So let's just be content with the knowledge that if our adult selves had been around to advise our teenage selves, perhaps things would have been different. But they weren't, and that's ok.
So, do you think we've worked through our issues, boy I liked in high school? Have we come to an understanding wherein you could now kindly step away from my peaceful slumber and stop hijacking my dreams? That would be so thoughtful of you. It would almost make up for your teenage ignorance.
Yours most sincerely,
Me
